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 | | time | views | |
 | Samsung Releases New Big Fucking TV | 2:57 | 98,425 | |
 | Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel | 1:25 | 91,687 | |
 | Scientists Confirm Statues Humans' Closest Nonliving Relative | 1:52 | 40,198 | 1 list |
 | Southwest Airlines Rolls Out New 'Loyalty Goes Both Ways' Campaign | 1:31 | 119,454 | |
 | Obama Proposes $4 Trillion Piece Of Empty Rhetoric | 3:30 | 65,839 | |
 | Parents Urge Son To Invest In Improv Comedy Education | 2:90 | 50,782 | 1 list |
 | 12-Year-Old Couldn't Begin To Guess Name Of Friend Whose House He Visits To Play Xbox | 1:17 | 117,035 | 1 list |
 | New Marijuana Study Confirms Everyone Knows You're High And You Will Be Stoned Forever | 1:26 | 1,337,621 | |
 | Jared Leto Thanks Acting For Being An Easy Thing That Anybody Can Do | 0:43 | 66,293 | |
 | Members Of Academy Can't Imagine What Would Happen If They Ever Selected Wrong Best Picture | 3:26 | 54,329 | |
 | The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition | 3:28 | 196,933 | 1 list |
 | Report: Local Gas Station Wouldn't Be That Hard To Rob | 1:35 | 46,032 | |
 | Is Emma Stone Sporting A Baby Bump? A Nine-Year-Old Boy Tells Us What He Thinks | 2:17 | 52,478 | |
 | New Report Shows Record Year For Births Of Test Tube Abominations | 3:18 | 35,739 | |
 | Sochi's Euthanized Dogs To Be Returned To Streets After Olympics | 0:39 | 53,126 | |
 | SHOCKER: SNL Kills Off Beloved Seth Meyers Character (Brought To You By Late Night With Seth Meyers) | 1:48 | 62,905 | |
 | Open Relationship Gives Couple Freedom To Emotionally Drain Other People From Time To Time | 2:10 | 56,813 | 1 list |
 | The Onion's Tips For Healthy Eating | 1:49 | 63,796 | 1 list |
 | Netflix Introduces New 'Browse Endlessly' Plan | 1:20 | 264,785 | |
 | Sheltered Suburban School Already Knows They're Going To Fuck Up Black History Month | 3:30 | 73,025 | |
 | Middle-Aged Waiter Sadly Not Involved In Any Creative Endeavor | 1:37 | 38,336 | 1 list |
 | Actor Shows Incredible Lack Of Commitment To Role By Staying Out Of Character Even During Takes | 2:10 | 49,474 | |
 | Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other | 2:48 | 4,289,104 | |
 | The Onion Reviews 'RoboCop' | 3:10 | 133,711 | 1 list |
 | United States Settles .000000012% Of China Debt With Autographed Photo Of Jon Hamm | 3:15 | 49,887 | |
 | Nation's Parents Release Annual Ranking Of Top 50 'Perfectly Good' State Schools | 2:25 | 42,550 | |
 | Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP | 2:14 | 71,030 | |
 | Report: Rising Number Of Weak, Emasculated Men Working As Stay-At-Home Dads | 1:44 | 42,922 | 1 list |
 | Man Moving To New City Never Took Time To Truly Loathe Surroundings | 1:13 | 39,181 | 1 list |
 | Russia Applauds America's Efforts To Exclude Gay Athletes From Professional Sports | 3:13 | 122,906 | |
 | Media Company Lays Off Dozens Of Unskilled Bloggers | 3:10 | 49,876 | |
 | New Study Shows That Bones Are Incredibly Cool | 1:26 | 76,774 | |
 | Nation Terrified After Millions Lose Consciousness For 8 Whole Hours Last Night | 2:00 | 49,747 | 1 list |
 | Increasingly Worried Man Hasn't Yet Come Across Any Guacamole In Burrito | 1:28 | 55,665 | 1 list |
 | Spookiest Halloween Sound Effects Album Grammy Goes To Lord Chillingsworth | 1:52 | 35,764 | |
 | 24-Hour News Cycle Seems Like It's Taking Forever | 2:57 | 40,422 | |
 | Nation's Lunatics Lament Rising Cost Of Car Meat | 1:55 | 36,440 | |
 | Laid-Off Man Finally Achieves Perfect Work-Life Balance | 1:17 | 70,606 | |
 | BREAKING: Dogs Running | 1:10 | 82,308 | |
 | Horrific Wall Street Allegations Reveal Junior Bankers Forced To Survive On $6,800 Per Week | 2:49 | 61,439 | |
 | Woman Confusingly Tells Area Man She's Not Interested In Him | 1:37 | 65,532 | 1 list |
 | BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash | 1:29 | 276,047 | |
 | McDonald's - 'And Yet, Is Not Beef Itself An Expression Of Wanton Lust?' | 1:80 | 192,517 | |
 | Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation | 2:11 | 34,579 | |
 | Blanket Of Snow Creates Illusion That Town Not A Total Shithole | 2:12 | 85,105 | |
 | NFL Concludes Ex-Players Taking Their Own Lives Because 'They Miss Football So Much' | 2:15 | 160,801 | |
 | The Onion Looks Back At 'E.T.' | 3:11 | 94,943 | 1 list |
 | Weather Forecast Says It's Windy As A Bastard | 1:23 | 54,662 | |
 | Tough Season - Championship - Season 1, Ep. 8 (Brought To You By Lenovo) | 5:55 | 21,320 | 1 list |
 | The Onion's Tips For Last Minute Holiday Shopping | 1:54 | 71,642 | 1 list |
 | The Onion Looks Back At 'It's A Wonderful Life' | 3:37 | 71,929 | |
 | Report: Nation's Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas | 1:49 | 46,835 | |
 | Onion Year In Review | 3:37 | 102,582 | |
 | The Onion Reviews 'The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug' | 3:70 | 186,309 | 1 list |
 | The Onion's Tips For Decorating A Christmas Tree | 1:24 | 64,588 | 1 list |
 | Race For Oscar Heats Up As Tom Hanks Traps Robert Redford In Cellar | 1:42 | 33,559 | |
 | Season 1 - Brad's Had Better Days, But Alfred Morris Is Ready To Help (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 1:16 | 20,311 | 1 list |
 | Tough Season - Playoffs - Season 1, Ep. 7 (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 5:90 | 22,650 | 1 list |
 | Poll Shows Majority Of Americans Would Watch Something Called 'Love Trap' | 2:49 | 50,308 | |
 | Season 1 - Matt Forte, Alfred Morris, and Antonio Brown Get Nicknames (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 1:39 | 19,313 | |
 | Slow-Witted Conspiracy Theorist Convinced Government Behind NASA | 1:29 | 85,562 | 1 list |
 | Bloomberg Defends NYPD's Controversial Stop And Kiss Program | 2:30 | 2,141,354 | |
 | Tough Season - Statistically Eliminated - Season 1, Ep. 6 (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 4:44 | 25,829 | 1 list |
 | Season 1 - Brad Fantasizes About Winning Fantasy Coach Of The Year (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 1:32 | 21,617 | 1 list |
 | FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You | 1:43 | 102,799 | |
 | Season 1 - Brad Gets Matt Forte Pumped For A Big Match Up (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 1:14 | 18,232 | 1 list |
 | Helpless Typhoon Articles Cling To Life On Edge Of Reader's Consciousness | 2:44 | 28,786 | |
 | Man Doesn't Know How Parents Ever Going To Pay Off Massive Student Loan Debt | 1:15 | 94,660 | 1 list |
 | The Onion Reviews 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire' | 2:57 | 1,512,931 | 1 list |
 | Tough Season - Waiver Wire - Season 1, Ep. 5 (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 4:46 | 30,932 | 1 list |
 | Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West | 0:51 | 61,190 | |
 | Christina Aguilera Tour Canceled Due To Fan Exhaustion | 1:10 | 33,107 | |
 | The Onion's Tips For Succeeding As A Woman In The Workplace | 1:28 | 146,624 | 1 list |
 | Seasons Turn Gracefully From The One That Kills Old People To The One That Kills Homeless People | 2:47 | 37,565 | |
 | Area Man Lacks Star Power Necessary To Carry Major Motion Picture | 1:41 | 30,004 | 1 list |
 | Season 1 - Brad Reminds Antonio Brown Not To Discuss Upcoming Matchup (Brought To You By Lenovo) | 1:18 | 13,147 | 1 list |
 | Twitter IPO Price Drops After Investors Realize It Means Partly Owning Jeremy's Feed | 2:54 | 35,699 | |
 | Report: American People Lead World In Compressing Big Sandwiches So They're Bitable | 1:30 | 36,838 | 1 list |
 | Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor | 1:19 | 31,956 | 1 list |
 | Hollywood's Biggest Stars Rally To Save Their Children | 1:43 | 28,814 | |
 | Tough Season - Overconfidence - Season 1, Ep. 4 (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 3:59 | 24,901 | 1 list |
 | The Onion's Tips For Fall Fashion | 1:43 | 82,730 | 1 list |
 | FAA Shocked They Made Lead Story Of This Week's Onion Review | 2:56 | 29,455 | |
 | Centers For Disease Contraction Urges Americans To Suck Doorknob | 1:46 | 34,958 | 1 list |
 | How To Get Your Son To Remove His Halloween Costume | 1:51 | 53,269 | |
 | The Onion Looks Back At 'The Shining' | 3:41 | 104,145 | 1 list |
 | A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: Twilight kept a struggling town on Washington's Olympic Peninsula afloat | 4:31 | 8,007 | 1 list |
 | Season 1 - Brad Starts A Video Chat With Mason Crosby By Accident (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 1:11 | 29,751 | 1 list |
 | White House Thrilled With Record Number Of People Who Thought They Signed Up For Healthcare | 2:50 | 49,798 | |
 | Wes Anderson Reteams With Favorite Objects For 'Grand Budapest Hotel' | 1:00 | 20,134 | |
 | CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO | 1:21 | 142,747 | 1 list |
 | A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: A whirlwind tour to the sets up Parks and Rec., The Office, and more | 4:41 | 12,085 | 1 list |
 | Tough Season - Week One Panic - Season 1, Ep. 3 (Brought to you by Lenovo) | 5:70 | 22,511 | 1 list |
 | Anonymous Source Tells Reporters That He's Tired Of Being Speaker Of The House | 2:26 | 40,228 | |
 | The Onion Reviews '12 Years A Slave' | 2:27 | 148,294 | 1 list |
 | Child Sees No Reason Why Iron Man Costume Can't Be Worn To Grandfather's Funeral | 0:58 | 52,155 | 1 list |
 | A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: The Dark Knight helped spawn a filmmaking boom in Chicago | 5:20 | 13,607 | 1 list |
 | Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter | 1:59 | 36,890 | 1 list |
 | White House Schedules Key Shoutings With Congressional Leaders | 3:80 | 34,983 | |
 | Kanye West Confirms He's Working On New Solo Child | 1:19 | 69,064 | |
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